The games saw fiasco go two one up Malice hitting cones fiasco defending well Andy sitting in goal Mat killing Adrienne Tony shooting well Malice playing all out for five goals (fail).

Rain wiped any mark of names to goals. Credit lies like the unknown dead.

Both teams however seemed to cope with the rain, instead they were hampered more by significant cases of the ball bobbling” – Emmet

What can I say?
It was a Rotten game for The Tapouts.
Began with the young boys choir version of “Let’s get physical”.
When your balls drop emmet you wont be able to reach those notes.
It then developed into the Apples show.
The theme music was ‘Where’s your Ed at”! Rik had the voice of an angel. A Hells Angel.
‘La banda de las bicis del Downham’.
Matt Vidal: What’s this team called again?
Me: Spinal Tapout.
Vidal: Come on Tapout get a goal!
Rik is now referring to every member of Tapout as ‘boy’.
Come on Tapout get a goal! Prav? …Not today.
Em was everywhere and nobody was gonna step up and stop him.
He was even in goal but rumor has it he’d had some special training first thing this morning.
Some sweet breaks by ST but not quite quick enough to the goal.
All 3 Apples having a party in the kitchen.
Spinal Tapout looking for the outside toilet.

Game 1
5-0
14:44 Em
11:41 Em
10:09 Em
09:07 ….Em
08:25 ……Rik!

Game 2
5-0
14:25 Em
11:32 Em
10:43 …Em
09:15 …….Em
06:26 ………………..Rik!

Game 3
5-0 You’ve had your turn Em!
12:52 Gabes
09:42 Gabes
06:38 Rik
05:11 Gabes
04:37 ………….Em!

These games must be played by Sunday 28.02.2010.

BAD Polo vs. Black Rebel BPC
Cosmic³ vs. Bye
Dinosaurs Love Sex vs. Zombie United
La Schmoove vs. ELKs
Los Coños  vs.  Three Beards One Cup
Malice International vs. Spinal Tap Out
Massive Cogs vs. Sparkle Motion
Polo Fiasco vs. S.L.A.P.
Polonium 210 vs. Rotten Apples

These games must be played by Sunday 21.02.2010.

Cosmic³ vs. BAD Polo
Dinosaurs Love Sex vs. Black Rebel BPC
La Schmoove vs. Bye
Los Coños vs.  Zombie United
Malice International vs. ELKs
Massive Cogs vs. Three Beards One Cup
Polo Fiasco vs. Spinal Tap Out
Polonium 210 vs. Sparkle Motion
Rotten Apples vs. S.L.A.P.

These games must be played by Sunday 14.02.2010.

BAD Polo vs. Dinosaurs Love Sex
La Schmoove vs. Cosmic³
Los Coños vs. Black Rebel BPC
Malice International vs. Bye
Massive Cogs vs. Zombie United
Polo Fiasco vs. ELKs
Polonium 210 vs. Three Beards One Cup
Rotten Apples vs. Spinal Tap Out
S.L.A.P. vs. Sparkle Motion

Game 1
Jono Elk scores
Aidan equalizes for Dinosaurs!
Dinosaurs definitely playing better together as a team (not that they’ve actually played many games together). Game could now go either way.. Game goes ELK’s way..
Ray Elk scores
Jono Elk scores
Final score: ELKs 3, Dinosaurs 1

Game 2
Elks dominate this one. Game finishes 5-0 to ELKs
Alielk, Jonoelk ,Jonoelk, Jonoelk, Alielk
ELKs look great in their lovely t-shirts.

Game 3
Game starts, lights go out, time out is called, game is postponed, Ali Elk sneaks one in. Goal disallowed.
Game restarts, Ali has a million shots on goal in the first two minutes– all of them hitting Oli’s wheels.
DINOSAUR PHIL scores the first goal at 5 minutes. Woop!
And Again! Phil scores at 6 minutes
Dinosaurs are two up!!
Jono gets one back at 7′20″, and then Ali levels the score at 9′30″ on a goal that bounces off the cone!
Ali gets another goal at 11 minutes which was perhaps the scrappiest goal ever.. Lots of balls being shot and saved, 5 players in the D, a cone goes flying, then the ball crosses the line where the cone used to be.
Dinosaurs fight hard to bring it back, but it times out at 3-2 to ELKs.

Good games.

These games must be played by Sunday 07.02.2010.

La Schmoove vs. BAD Polo
Los Coños vs. Dinosaurs Love Sex
Malice International vs. Cosmic³
Massive Cogs vs. Black Rebel BPC
Polo Fiasco vs. Bye
Polonium 210 vs. Zombie United
Rotten Apples vs. ELKs
S.L.A.P. vs. Three Beards One Cup
Sparkle Motion vs. Spinal Tap Out

Game 1
With the rain already starting to fall from the sky both teams were eager to get the cranks turning and the goals flowing, Jono was first to the ball on the charge and proceeded to set Ray up for the first goal of the day only 26 seconds in to the game. ELKs continued there tight game circling around Sparkle’s goal areas, then boom, boom, boom goals in at 1:12 (J), 1:35 (A) and 2.56 (R). This was looking like a walk over for ELKs but then Sparkle collectively got there stuff together and started to play as a team. Pip and James making a devilish tag team with some nice passing and powerful shots and Wayne standing like a wall in goal. Could Sparkle get this game back? In short, no. At 6:17 Jono smashed the last goal home and victory belonged to the Knights.
Elks – 5
Sparkle Motion – 0

Game 2
After a disappointing loss in the first game Sparkle gave it everything in this game with Pip and James working even better than before. The game was looking like a stalemate with the ball racing from one end of the court to the other, shots from both teams but no goals. With it being fought out so hard the first goal could have gone either way but it was Ray who saw the line and scored an awesome^rad goal tipping ELKs in to the lead. Undeterred Sparkle continued to use their choreographed team play in an attempt to draw even but alas, it wasn’t to be. Jono took the dancing girls by surprise and got a quick two goals in at 5:45 and 6:10 stretching ELKs lead to 3 – 0. Even 3 goals down Sparkle carried on fighting, soaking wet, cold and tired they fought, until the final crushing blows came from Ray (10:15) and Jono (13:17) and yet again the game belonged to ELKs.
Elks – 5
Sparkle Motion – 0

Game 3
With both teams (and the reffs) soaked to the core this last game couldn’t have come sooner. Were ELKs going to continue with their reign of terror? Were Sparkle going to nail a 10.0 from all judges? Both teams wanting this game bad, ELKs to get that perfect 15 – 0 and Sparkle so they could ride home with their heads held high. The 6 men battled it out in an even match for a few minutes until Ray slotted one through the cones at 2:22, this was followed by two more goals from Jono at 3:29 and 4:38. With the score line looking very familiar Sparkle gave it one last effort, do or die. They held of the ELKs for almost 5 minutes until Ali came in and took the score to 4-0 at 9.15. His mind clouded by the rain and confused by the chilling cold the ref (me, oops) called game, the ELKs jumped off their steeds in joy with Sparkle left slightly down but still honourable losers. But then the dozy ref realised the cock up, it was only 4-0!!! ‘Play on’ he called and in a slightly confused manner the teams remounted and continued play with Sparkle in possession. Although it wasn’t long before Jono scored at 10:30 and ELKs sealed the deal (again). *
Elks – 5
Sparkle Motion – 0

Final scores
ELKs vs Sparkle Motion
15 – 0

The weather was complete shite. Not much of a report as my note pad is soaked through.

Game 1 – went to next goal wins, with both teams having opportunities to win this game STO showed a bit more lust for it, and James from SM letting Aram from STO get to him.

Game 2 – Guns a blazing… prav swapped bikes with Ali of the mighty ELKS… not that this helped, New father pip linked incredibly well with james and this saw them through to be victors of game 2. James may have been spured on by the previous games argie bargie. James finishing clinical and pips shots powerful.

Game 3 – Spinal tap out of the blocks fast, prav back on his bike. They seemed to have a new lease of life. STO Consistent in their game throughout the whole fixture saw off the advances of SM. SM fighting but no where near the level of the previous game.

All in all a great fixture to watch… both teams looking a bit rusty after the xmas break but out in the rain none the less.

Dave screams “POLO!” at the top of his girly voice prompting Ali and
Robb to come tearing out of their goal mouths with their eyes
transfixed on the rubbery red spheroid. The ball is snatched by Ali
and rushed directly toward her opponent’s territory. Jonny instantly
becomes a nervous wreck making Ali’s shot on goal all the more
easier….

BAM! 1-0 to Los Conos @ 19:59 (that’s what Dave said; he was the time
keeper. It doesn’t make any sense)

S.L.A.P pick themselves up, straighten their bow-ties and proceeded
toward the girls. Robb shifts the ball up the wing only to lose it
almost instantly to Ali. Ali passes the ball onto Jo who takes a first
time shot but misses. Robb, who is now furious pinches the ball back
and sets his sights on the opposite goal. Robb winds his was around
both Jo and Ali only to be met by the disc wheels of Sarah’s bike. The
ball strikes the disc (probably the BAD one) and flies towards the
centre circle and is pounced on by Jo. Jo’s journey towards goal is
shaky, the ball is lost momentarily but then regained and a shot is
taken. The ball deflects off the post and settles in the corner.

The ball is retrieved by Robb and swiftly moved out of the danger
zone. The pressure of being in possession gets to Robb and he can’t
help but foot-down. As Robb taps out Sarah picks up the ball and
begins looking for the open player. Neither Jo nor Ali are to be seen
so Sarah is left with no other option but to shoot. Although Robb was
pilling on the pressure Sarah still managed to get the shot on target,
unfortunately the goal was manned by a recovered Jonny who has
conveniently placed his bicycle in front of the goal preventing any
balls passing between the posts…very clever.
Sarah holds her position at the top of the D while Ali collects the
loose ball. The ball is sent towards Sarah but the terrible pass gets
intercepted on its way. Once again; Robb finds himself in possession
facing a guarded goalmouth. Robb slowly but surely moves up the pitch
while being chased down by Jo…the shot is taken but is returned by
the wheel of Ali’s budget bike.

Ali charges for the ball and manages to pick it up just outside her
box. Jo waits patiently for the pass but is disappointed by Ali’s
terrible control as the ball is given away as it so frequently was in
this game. The ball is acquired by Roberto and blasted towards
goal…it bounces off a cone and is frantically cleared by Ali. Ali’s
attempt to make amends results in a foot-down and a free ball for John
Mack. John manoeuvres into the corner and is blessed with a lucky
bounce as the ball darts diagonally across the court. Robb appears
from nowhere and uses his first touch to shoot. Once again the ball
ricochets off Sarah’s disc-wheel only to end up in Robb’s possession.
He shoots but misses. Jo clears the ball from the danger zone. The
game pace slows as John farts about in the corner trying to retrieve
the ball…

Many moments later…

Jo guards the ball in the centre while slowly moving towards S.L.A.P’s
goal. Police Constable Mack and Superintendent Slamm are hot on her
tail but Arrive seconds too late as the shot has already been taken.
The ball is detained and held for questioning. After further
investigation it turns out the ball bounced off Jonny’s wheel and
settled in a safe zone…

Tune in tomorrow for the next instalment of the intense battle between
the Mightly Los Conos and the slightly below average S.L.A.P!