The games saw fiasco go two one up Malice hitting cones fiasco defending well Andy sitting in goal Mat killing Adrienne Tony shooting well Malice playing all out for five goals (fail).

Rain wiped any mark of names to goals. Credit lies like the unknown dead.

Both teams however seemed to cope with the rain, instead they were hampered more by significant cases of the ball bobbling” – Emmet

What can I say?
It was a Rotten game for The Tapouts.
Began with the young boys choir version of “Let’s get physical”.
When your balls drop emmet you wont be able to reach those notes.
It then developed into the Apples show.
The theme music was ‘Where’s your Ed at”! Rik had the voice of an angel. A Hells Angel.
‘La banda de las bicis del Downham’.
Matt Vidal: What’s this team called again?
Me: Spinal Tapout.
Vidal: Come on Tapout get a goal!
Rik is now referring to every member of Tapout as ‘boy’.
Come on Tapout get a goal! Prav? …Not today.
Em was everywhere and nobody was gonna step up and stop him.
He was even in goal but rumor has it he’d had some special training first thing this morning.
Some sweet breaks by ST but not quite quick enough to the goal.
All 3 Apples having a party in the kitchen.
Spinal Tapout looking for the outside toilet.

Game 1
5-0
14:44 Em
11:41 Em
10:09 Em
09:07 ….Em
08:25 ……Rik!

Game 2
5-0
14:25 Em
11:32 Em
10:43 …Em
09:15 …….Em
06:26 ………………..Rik!

Game 3
5-0 You’ve had your turn Em!
12:52 Gabes
09:42 Gabes
06:38 Rik
05:11 Gabes
04:37 ………….Em!

Game 1
Jono Elk scores
Aidan equalizes for Dinosaurs!
Dinosaurs definitely playing better together as a team (not that they’ve actually played many games together). Game could now go either way.. Game goes ELK’s way..
Ray Elk scores
Jono Elk scores
Final score: ELKs 3, Dinosaurs 1

Game 2
Elks dominate this one. Game finishes 5-0 to ELKs
Alielk, Jonoelk ,Jonoelk, Jonoelk, Alielk
ELKs look great in their lovely t-shirts.

Game 3
Game starts, lights go out, time out is called, game is postponed, Ali Elk sneaks one in. Goal disallowed.
Game restarts, Ali has a million shots on goal in the first two minutes– all of them hitting Oli’s wheels.
DINOSAUR PHIL scores the first goal at 5 minutes. Woop!
And Again! Phil scores at 6 minutes
Dinosaurs are two up!!
Jono gets one back at 7′20″, and then Ali levels the score at 9′30″ on a goal that bounces off the cone!
Ali gets another goal at 11 minutes which was perhaps the scrappiest goal ever.. Lots of balls being shot and saved, 5 players in the D, a cone goes flying, then the ball crosses the line where the cone used to be.
Dinosaurs fight hard to bring it back, but it times out at 3-2 to ELKs.

Good games.

Game 1
With the rain already starting to fall from the sky both teams were eager to get the cranks turning and the goals flowing, Jono was first to the ball on the charge and proceeded to set Ray up for the first goal of the day only 26 seconds in to the game. ELKs continued there tight game circling around Sparkle’s goal areas, then boom, boom, boom goals in at 1:12 (J), 1:35 (A) and 2.56 (R). This was looking like a walk over for ELKs but then Sparkle collectively got there stuff together and started to play as a team. Pip and James making a devilish tag team with some nice passing and powerful shots and Wayne standing like a wall in goal. Could Sparkle get this game back? In short, no. At 6:17 Jono smashed the last goal home and victory belonged to the Knights.
Elks – 5
Sparkle Motion – 0

Game 2
After a disappointing loss in the first game Sparkle gave it everything in this game with Pip and James working even better than before. The game was looking like a stalemate with the ball racing from one end of the court to the other, shots from both teams but no goals. With it being fought out so hard the first goal could have gone either way but it was Ray who saw the line and scored an awesome^rad goal tipping ELKs in to the lead. Undeterred Sparkle continued to use their choreographed team play in an attempt to draw even but alas, it wasn’t to be. Jono took the dancing girls by surprise and got a quick two goals in at 5:45 and 6:10 stretching ELKs lead to 3 – 0. Even 3 goals down Sparkle carried on fighting, soaking wet, cold and tired they fought, until the final crushing blows came from Ray (10:15) and Jono (13:17) and yet again the game belonged to ELKs.
Elks – 5
Sparkle Motion – 0

Game 3
With both teams (and the reffs) soaked to the core this last game couldn’t have come sooner. Were ELKs going to continue with their reign of terror? Were Sparkle going to nail a 10.0 from all judges? Both teams wanting this game bad, ELKs to get that perfect 15 – 0 and Sparkle so they could ride home with their heads held high. The 6 men battled it out in an even match for a few minutes until Ray slotted one through the cones at 2:22, this was followed by two more goals from Jono at 3:29 and 4:38. With the score line looking very familiar Sparkle gave it one last effort, do or die. They held of the ELKs for almost 5 minutes until Ali came in and took the score to 4-0 at 9.15. His mind clouded by the rain and confused by the chilling cold the ref (me, oops) called game, the ELKs jumped off their steeds in joy with Sparkle left slightly down but still honourable losers. But then the dozy ref realised the cock up, it was only 4-0!!! ‘Play on’ he called and in a slightly confused manner the teams remounted and continued play with Sparkle in possession. Although it wasn’t long before Jono scored at 10:30 and ELKs sealed the deal (again). *
Elks – 5
Sparkle Motion – 0

Final scores
ELKs vs Sparkle Motion
15 – 0

The weather was complete shite. Not much of a report as my note pad is soaked through.

Game 1 – went to next goal wins, with both teams having opportunities to win this game STO showed a bit more lust for it, and James from SM letting Aram from STO get to him.

Game 2 – Guns a blazing… prav swapped bikes with Ali of the mighty ELKS… not that this helped, New father pip linked incredibly well with james and this saw them through to be victors of game 2. James may have been spured on by the previous games argie bargie. James finishing clinical and pips shots powerful.

Game 3 – Spinal tap out of the blocks fast, prav back on his bike. They seemed to have a new lease of life. STO Consistent in their game throughout the whole fixture saw off the advances of SM. SM fighting but no where near the level of the previous game.

All in all a great fixture to watch… both teams looking a bit rusty after the xmas break but out in the rain none the less.

Dave screams “POLO!” at the top of his girly voice prompting Ali and
Robb to come tearing out of their goal mouths with their eyes
transfixed on the rubbery red spheroid. The ball is snatched by Ali
and rushed directly toward her opponent’s territory. Jonny instantly
becomes a nervous wreck making Ali’s shot on goal all the more
easier….

BAM! 1-0 to Los Conos @ 19:59 (that’s what Dave said; he was the time
keeper. It doesn’t make any sense)

S.L.A.P pick themselves up, straighten their bow-ties and proceeded
toward the girls. Robb shifts the ball up the wing only to lose it
almost instantly to Ali. Ali passes the ball onto Jo who takes a first
time shot but misses. Robb, who is now furious pinches the ball back
and sets his sights on the opposite goal. Robb winds his was around
both Jo and Ali only to be met by the disc wheels of Sarah’s bike. The
ball strikes the disc (probably the BAD one) and flies towards the
centre circle and is pounced on by Jo. Jo’s journey towards goal is
shaky, the ball is lost momentarily but then regained and a shot is
taken. The ball deflects off the post and settles in the corner.

The ball is retrieved by Robb and swiftly moved out of the danger
zone. The pressure of being in possession gets to Robb and he can’t
help but foot-down. As Robb taps out Sarah picks up the ball and
begins looking for the open player. Neither Jo nor Ali are to be seen
so Sarah is left with no other option but to shoot. Although Robb was
pilling on the pressure Sarah still managed to get the shot on target,
unfortunately the goal was manned by a recovered Jonny who has
conveniently placed his bicycle in front of the goal preventing any
balls passing between the posts…very clever.
Sarah holds her position at the top of the D while Ali collects the
loose ball. The ball is sent towards Sarah but the terrible pass gets
intercepted on its way. Once again; Robb finds himself in possession
facing a guarded goalmouth. Robb slowly but surely moves up the pitch
while being chased down by Jo…the shot is taken but is returned by
the wheel of Ali’s budget bike.

Ali charges for the ball and manages to pick it up just outside her
box. Jo waits patiently for the pass but is disappointed by Ali’s
terrible control as the ball is given away as it so frequently was in
this game. The ball is acquired by Roberto and blasted towards
goal…it bounces off a cone and is frantically cleared by Ali. Ali’s
attempt to make amends results in a foot-down and a free ball for John
Mack. John manoeuvres into the corner and is blessed with a lucky
bounce as the ball darts diagonally across the court. Robb appears
from nowhere and uses his first touch to shoot. Once again the ball
ricochets off Sarah’s disc-wheel only to end up in Robb’s possession.
He shoots but misses. Jo clears the ball from the danger zone. The
game pace slows as John farts about in the corner trying to retrieve
the ball…

Many moments later…

Jo guards the ball in the centre while slowly moving towards S.L.A.P’s
goal. Police Constable Mack and Superintendent Slamm are hot on her
tail but Arrive seconds too late as the shot has already been taken.
The ball is detained and held for questioning. After further
investigation it turns out the ball bounced off Jonny’s wheel and
settled in a safe zone…

Tune in tomorrow for the next instalment of the intense battle between
the Mightly Los Conos and the slightly below average S.L.A.P!

Sunday 13th December, Newington

Game 1: 5-0
Aidan wins the charge and takes the ball to goal and scores. 1-0 to BAD Polo at 5 seconds. Dave makes it 2-0 within the first minute of the game, by powering a shot through John’s rear wheel spokes. A sign of things to come in this fixture it seems…

BAD dominate the start of the game with the majority of action in the Massive Cogs half. As another attack from BAD comes, a shout of “Come on the Wall” from the Cogs camp warns their players to stack up 3 deep in goal and prevent BAD from scoring! It’s effective and gives the Cogs some good breaks.

Brendan gets the third goal on the 5 minute mark, a strike which hits Camerons back wheel and bounces over. Aidan scores a lovely 4th goal at 7′17″, slotted in at an almost impossible angle. Dave repeats his earlier goal by another hard hit, this time going between spokes in Emmet’s rear wheel. Game ends 5-0 at 7′45″

Game 2: 5-2
Aidan takes the charge again in the second game and takes it to the Cogs defence. It’s back to the BAD end within seconds with Emmet having a great shot at Dave. The first two minutes of the game sees both Emmet having another fine shot, and also Cameron almost getting one past Dave. Despite this, it’s BAD who take the first goal again – Brendan scoring at 2′40″.

Emmet equalizes for the Cogs at 4′20″ with a fast air shot which goes through Dave’s wheel. A good goal which they really deserved.

At 5′40″ Aidan puts BAD back in the lead, and Brendan makes it 3-1 with a nicely angled shot at 7′30″. BAD are sharing the goal scoring and it’s Dave’s turn at 9 minutes when his shot hits Emmet’s mallet, spins round the front wheel and trickles over the line!

Excitement at 10′40″ when Brendan takes a shot which lands on Cameron’s chain whilst he his goalkeeping. After a couple of trademark hops, it drops under his bottom bracket in front of the goal line. As Brendan swings round and tries to knock it through, John fortunately pushes it clear.

At 11′25″ Cameron gets one back for the Cogs as he takes the ball almost the whole length of the court and fires it through at great pace. Aidan scores again at 12′30″ to finish of the game 5-2.

Game 3: 5-1
The final game of the fixture sees the Cogs getting the first goal. At 1′15″, John shoots straight through Dave’s bottom bracket at an almost unstoppable speed. Aidan retaliates 30 seconds later with a shot going through ‘The Wall’ via two bottom brackets.

At 3′50″, Brendan takes one of his symbolic strikes and put BAD back in front at the expense of Cameron’s spokes. A ball-shaped hole is left in his wheel and a time-out is called.

It seems to take both teams a while to warm up again after a long time-out. It’s not until the 7th minute when Brendan gets another goal after some excellent passing and communication between the team. Aidan also follows up with another at 8 minutes, after Dave makes space by forcing a hole in The Wall.

Massive Cogs fight back and there are god chances at both ends of the court, but eventually Aidan cements the win for BAD at 10′20″ after slotting a ball in behind a Cog’s back wheel.

Very good games to watch and everyone seemed to enjoy them. All of the Massive Cogs goals (one each) were truly spectacular, but in the end, BAD Polo really show why they are the team to beat in this league!

BAD Polo:

The WALL:

Wednesday 9th December, Newington

Game 1: 2-1 (Golden Goal)

The game starts fast and hectic with both teams blocking well and preventing passes. BAD polo having the best of the chances in the first few minutes with some good steals and Dave coming very close to scoring on two occasions. The first goal comes from Aidan at 4 minutes just as his BAD Girls arrive to support!

Apples come close to scoring but fail to take advantage when both Aidan and Dave are footdown. Brendan also makes a fine clearance under pressure.

Rik is impenetrable at the other end with countless balls hitting his wheels and the cones, yet he stays so solid and so confident. At 10 minutes, BAD almost go 2 up when Dave shuffles a ball through.

The equalizer comes at 13 minutes, when Aidan footsdown in goal. This time, Em takes full opportunity of the gap and scores. A minute later, Apples could have had another chance when Brendan and Aidan crash into each other in the middle of the court, but Dave stays strong in defence.

Eventually it goes to Golden Goal and at 19′37″, the winner came from Brendan after a strike which hit the cone, went high and fortunately the top-spin enabled the ball to roll over the goal line.

Game 2: 1-0
On the charge Gabes gets to the ball first but it is stolen by Aidan. For the first 2 minutes, play is back and forth between each end, and Aidan hits a few wide of the goal. Gabes comes closest at 3 minutes, with a ball that hits the cone, Em misses the rebound chance.

At 5′15″, Aidan gets the first goal after circling around the Apples and slotting the ball between the cones, in what is fast becoming an Aidan trademark.

A close one for Apples when Rik has an incredible shot at Aidan in goal, which he wedged under his rear wheel in front of the goal line. Brendan goes round the back and smacks it clear.

Rik also fires a really hard ball at Dave at the other end, but Dave makes a phenomenal save. Defence at both ends is particularly strong tonight, hence the scorelines. The game eventually times out at 1-0 to BAD.

Game 3: 3-1
Despite two exhausting and intense games, the third starts with just as much determination. Brendan strikes at 2′35″ to give BAD the first goal again. Aidan follows up the scoring at 4′14″.

At 8′38″ Gabes gets one back with an accurate powerful strike straight through the goal.

Aidan has a great chance for another goal whilst Rik is footdown, he is on his own and has time, but regrettably no goal. Another opportunity for Aidan arises, but along comes Gabes with his fat tyres and disc brakes and skids over the ball. Apples are using their bikes to full effect to pull lots of fancy moves to block the opposition!

At 10 minutes Brendan finds himself with two Apples mallets under his front wheel and skids 20ft across the court. However, he gets up and carries on, scoring a minute later and calls a justified time out to fix his clips. The ref takes this opportunity to warn the Apples for their foul mallet play!

The determination continues right up to the last second, when the game ends 3-1 to BAD.

Oh, yeah, and Em was shite at 5′50″ in the first game

Game 1: 0-5
After draining the court from rainfall cone-by-cone and waiting for hung-over Louis to arrive, they’re ready to start. Jo gets to the centre spot first, but leaves the ball for Tom, who then leaves the ball for Ali. Ali takes the ball and gets the first goal of the game at 13 seconds!

Jo and Ali take it in turns scoring each minute – Jo at 1’17”, Ali at 2’57” and Jo again at 3’43”. Polonium get a couple of great breaks and test Sarah at the other end of the court. Tom comes very close to scoring, forcing Sarah to come out and challenge for the ball.

Louis seems to be playing slightly gentler today, not his usual bull-charging style! Well, this is until he leans a little to hard on Ali, forcing them both down hard. All players wait for Ali to straighten her bars, re-align her brake and get back on her bike before carrying on with the game. Ali then takes the final goal of the game at 6’12” making it 0-5.

Game 2: 0-5
The second game sees the ball being missed off the charge by both players, again! This time, Jo picks it up to take it to the Polonium goal and make it 0-1 at 15 seconds. Jo and Ali then take it in turn to score again and finish the game 0-5 in the same time as the first game – 6’12”. Infact the scoring patterns from both games are almost identical!

Game 3: 0-5
Los Coños could have beaten the 2’29” record with Jo getting a hatrick in under one and a half minutes. The first goal came just a few seconds after winning the charge and 2 more goals came at 0’55” and 1’21”. However, already 13-0 up in the fixture, decided to change their game and Sarah came out of goal. Polonium stayed strong in defense and Sarah found it very hard to make a space in Polonium’s half. The fourth goal didn’t come until the 10th minute, from Ali (after her rest in goal!!). Jo finished up the fixture at 12.41.

The girls played really well and deserved their first 15-0 victory.

Game 1
Ali 0.13
Jo 1.17
Ali 2.57
Jo 3.43
Ali 6.12

Game 2
Jo 0.15
Jo 2.21
Ali 2.55
Jo 3.41
Ali 6.12

Game 3
Jo 0.10
Jo 0.55
Jo 1.21
Ali 9.45
Jo 12.41

pic: Mallet-hooking Louis prevents Emmet from scoring.

Write up by Sara below the fold.

Emmet takes the charge and gets the first goal of the game in 20″. But Polonium 210, nicely warmed up from their games with Los Coños, come straight back and start attacking well with Louis almost leveling by hitting the cones. It was at 3′30″ when Tom claimed the first goal for Polonium whilst Massive Cogs left their goal open. Cameron puts Cogs back in the lead at 5′10″ and one minute later, glory-hunter Louis equals the scores at 2 each. This goal should have been Tanya’s, but was wickedly stolen from her within the D by her own team mate!

The game really could have gone either way at this point, both teams having great chances. Cameron, battling through despite major mechanical issues with his rear wheel, failing to convert on many. Tanya making a great save from one of Cameron’s shots, foots-down and leaves goal. Emmet takes advantage of the open gap and makes it 3-2 at 8′30″. This is followed by some excellent defending from Polonium with awesome saves from Tom, whilst John instructs his team mates well from goal at the other end of the court. Emmet scores again 5 minutes later. Desperate not to let the game go to 5 goals, Polonium defend hard. With less than 30 seconds to go, the ball is sitting on their goal line and unbelievably it doesn’t go through despite many attempts from Cogs. A lucky escape indeed! Game one ends 2-4.

No goals in the second game until John shoots an incredibly powerful ball at 3.5 minutes, leaving Polonium no chance of stopping it going through. Cameron follows up with two goals at 4′38″ and 6′40″, and John again at 8′30″. It looks like Polonium were going to hold them off getting to 5 again, with lefty-Louis making some great saves and some defensive mallet play! With just 10 seconds to go, the ball is back on the Polonium goal line and after 4 or 5 shots and deflections, Cameron manages to finally get the ball over the line! This time its unlucky for Polonium as the game finished 0-5.

Game three sees Cogs getting it together better and Cameron scoring just before the first minute is up and again at 2′43″. Polonium hold them off after this defending well, and the Cogs are struggling to get the ball past Tom. However, patience wears off and Cameron gets two more (10′50″ and 11′42″). Aiming to make it 5, Cameron has a few more chances, before Emmet pops up and strikes the winning goal. Game end 0-5, at 12′30″.