Tomorrow (22/05), Downham, 12 noon, End of league BBQ and throw-ins.

Can someone bring a broom? It desperately needs a sweep.

What can I say?
It was a Rotten game for The Tapouts.
Began with the young boys choir version of “Let’s get physical”.
When your balls drop emmet you wont be able to reach those notes.
It then developed into the Apples show.
The theme music was ‘Where’s your Ed at”! Rik had the voice of an angel. A Hells Angel.
‘La banda de las bicis del Downham’.
Matt Vidal: What’s this team called again?
Me: Spinal Tapout.
Vidal: Come on Tapout get a goal!
Rik is now referring to every member of Tapout as ‘boy’.
Come on Tapout get a goal! Prav? …Not today.
Em was everywhere and nobody was gonna step up and stop him.
He was even in goal but rumor has it he’d had some special training first thing this morning.
Some sweet breaks by ST but not quite quick enough to the goal.
All 3 Apples having a party in the kitchen.
Spinal Tapout looking for the outside toilet.

Game 1
5-0
14:44 Em
11:41 Em
10:09 Em
09:07 ….Em
08:25 ……Rik!

Game 2
5-0
14:25 Em
11:32 Em
10:43 …Em
09:15 …….Em
06:26 ………………..Rik!

Game 3
5-0 You’ve had your turn Em!
12:52 Gabes
09:42 Gabes
06:38 Rik
05:11 Gabes
04:37 ………….Em!

These games must be played by Sunday 28.02.2010.

BAD Polo vs. Black Rebel BPC
Cosmic³ vs. Bye
Dinosaurs Love Sex vs. Zombie United
La Schmoove vs. ELKs
Los Coños  vs.  Three Beards One Cup
Malice International vs. Spinal Tap Out
Massive Cogs vs. Sparkle Motion
Polo Fiasco vs. S.L.A.P.
Polonium 210 vs. Rotten Apples

These games must be played by Sunday 21.02.2010.

Cosmic³ vs. BAD Polo
Dinosaurs Love Sex vs. Black Rebel BPC
La Schmoove vs. Bye
Los Coños vs.  Zombie United
Malice International vs. ELKs
Massive Cogs vs. Three Beards One Cup
Polo Fiasco vs. Spinal Tap Out
Polonium 210 vs. Sparkle Motion
Rotten Apples vs. S.L.A.P.

These games must be played by Sunday 14.02.2010.

BAD Polo vs. Dinosaurs Love Sex
La Schmoove vs. Cosmic³
Los Coños vs. Black Rebel BPC
Malice International vs. Bye
Massive Cogs vs. Zombie United
Polo Fiasco vs. ELKs
Polonium 210 vs. Three Beards One Cup
Rotten Apples vs. Spinal Tap Out
S.L.A.P. vs. Sparkle Motion

These games must be played by Sunday 07.02.2010.

La Schmoove vs. BAD Polo
Los Coños vs. Dinosaurs Love Sex
Malice International vs. Cosmic³
Massive Cogs vs. Black Rebel BPC
Polo Fiasco vs. Bye
Polonium 210 vs. Zombie United
Rotten Apples vs. ELKs
S.L.A.P. vs. Three Beards One Cup
Sparkle Motion vs. Spinal Tap Out

Dave screams “POLO!” at the top of his girly voice prompting Ali and
Robb to come tearing out of their goal mouths with their eyes
transfixed on the rubbery red spheroid. The ball is snatched by Ali
and rushed directly toward her opponent’s territory. Jonny instantly
becomes a nervous wreck making Ali’s shot on goal all the more
easier….

BAM! 1-0 to Los Conos @ 19:59 (that’s what Dave said; he was the time
keeper. It doesn’t make any sense)

S.L.A.P pick themselves up, straighten their bow-ties and proceeded
toward the girls. Robb shifts the ball up the wing only to lose it
almost instantly to Ali. Ali passes the ball onto Jo who takes a first
time shot but misses. Robb, who is now furious pinches the ball back
and sets his sights on the opposite goal. Robb winds his was around
both Jo and Ali only to be met by the disc wheels of Sarah’s bike. The
ball strikes the disc (probably the BAD one) and flies towards the
centre circle and is pounced on by Jo. Jo’s journey towards goal is
shaky, the ball is lost momentarily but then regained and a shot is
taken. The ball deflects off the post and settles in the corner.

The ball is retrieved by Robb and swiftly moved out of the danger
zone. The pressure of being in possession gets to Robb and he can’t
help but foot-down. As Robb taps out Sarah picks up the ball and
begins looking for the open player. Neither Jo nor Ali are to be seen
so Sarah is left with no other option but to shoot. Although Robb was
pilling on the pressure Sarah still managed to get the shot on target,
unfortunately the goal was manned by a recovered Jonny who has
conveniently placed his bicycle in front of the goal preventing any
balls passing between the posts…very clever.
Sarah holds her position at the top of the D while Ali collects the
loose ball. The ball is sent towards Sarah but the terrible pass gets
intercepted on its way. Once again; Robb finds himself in possession
facing a guarded goalmouth. Robb slowly but surely moves up the pitch
while being chased down by Jo…the shot is taken but is returned by
the wheel of Ali’s budget bike.

Ali charges for the ball and manages to pick it up just outside her
box. Jo waits patiently for the pass but is disappointed by Ali’s
terrible control as the ball is given away as it so frequently was in
this game. The ball is acquired by Roberto and blasted towards
goal…it bounces off a cone and is frantically cleared by Ali. Ali’s
attempt to make amends results in a foot-down and a free ball for John
Mack. John manoeuvres into the corner and is blessed with a lucky
bounce as the ball darts diagonally across the court. Robb appears
from nowhere and uses his first touch to shoot. Once again the ball
ricochets off Sarah’s disc-wheel only to end up in Robb’s possession.
He shoots but misses. Jo clears the ball from the danger zone. The
game pace slows as John farts about in the corner trying to retrieve
the ball…

Many moments later…

Jo guards the ball in the centre while slowly moving towards S.L.A.P’s
goal. Police Constable Mack and Superintendent Slamm are hot on her
tail but Arrive seconds too late as the shot has already been taken.
The ball is detained and held for questioning. After further
investigation it turns out the ball bounced off Jonny’s wheel and
settled in a safe zone…

Tune in tomorrow for the next instalment of the intense battle between
the Mightly Los Conos and the slightly below average S.L.A.P!

Can EVERY team please check this, if you have played a fixture on here, and the result isn’t on the site, please post the result as a comment here, and it’ll be updated ASAP.

Dinosaurs Love Sex vs. Malice International
Three Beards One Cup vs. Rotten Apples
Three Beards One Cup vs. Malice International
Sparkle Motion vs. Polo Fiasco
Three Beards One Cup vs. La Schmoove
ELKs vs. Dinosaurs Love Sex
Sparkle Motion vs. Malice International
Sparkle Motion vs. La Schmoove
Spinal Tap Out vs. Dinosaurs Love Sex
Three Beards One Cup vs. Cosmic³
ELKs vs. Black Rebel BPC
Rotten Apples vs. Malice International
Rotten Apples vs. La Schmoove
S.L.A.P. vs. Dinosaurs Love Sex
Sparkle Motion vs. Cosmic³
Spinal Tap Out vs. Black Rebel BPC
Polo Fiasco vs. Malice International
Malice International vs. BAD Polo
Massive Cogs vs. Los Coños
Polonium 210 vs. Dinosaurs Love Sex
Rotten Apples vs. Cosmic³
S.L.A.P. vs. Black Rebel BPC
Spinal Tap Out vs. Zombie United
Three Beards One Cup vs. ELKs

Due to be played by 10.01.2010
BAD Polo vs. Los Coños
Malice International vs. La Schmoove
Massive Cogs vs. Dinosaurs Love Sex
Polo Fiasco vs. Cosmic³
Polonium 210 vs. Black Rebel BPC
S.L.A.P. vs. Zombie United
Sparkle Motion vs. ELKs
Spinal Tap Out vs. Three Beards One Cup

Sunday 13th December, Newington

Game 1: 5-0
Aidan wins the charge and takes the ball to goal and scores. 1-0 to BAD Polo at 5 seconds. Dave makes it 2-0 within the first minute of the game, by powering a shot through John’s rear wheel spokes. A sign of things to come in this fixture it seems…

BAD dominate the start of the game with the majority of action in the Massive Cogs half. As another attack from BAD comes, a shout of “Come on the Wall” from the Cogs camp warns their players to stack up 3 deep in goal and prevent BAD from scoring! It’s effective and gives the Cogs some good breaks.

Brendan gets the third goal on the 5 minute mark, a strike which hits Camerons back wheel and bounces over. Aidan scores a lovely 4th goal at 7′17″, slotted in at an almost impossible angle. Dave repeats his earlier goal by another hard hit, this time going between spokes in Emmet’s rear wheel. Game ends 5-0 at 7′45″

Game 2: 5-2
Aidan takes the charge again in the second game and takes it to the Cogs defence. It’s back to the BAD end within seconds with Emmet having a great shot at Dave. The first two minutes of the game sees both Emmet having another fine shot, and also Cameron almost getting one past Dave. Despite this, it’s BAD who take the first goal again – Brendan scoring at 2′40″.

Emmet equalizes for the Cogs at 4′20″ with a fast air shot which goes through Dave’s wheel. A good goal which they really deserved.

At 5′40″ Aidan puts BAD back in the lead, and Brendan makes it 3-1 with a nicely angled shot at 7′30″. BAD are sharing the goal scoring and it’s Dave’s turn at 9 minutes when his shot hits Emmet’s mallet, spins round the front wheel and trickles over the line!

Excitement at 10′40″ when Brendan takes a shot which lands on Cameron’s chain whilst he his goalkeeping. After a couple of trademark hops, it drops under his bottom bracket in front of the goal line. As Brendan swings round and tries to knock it through, John fortunately pushes it clear.

At 11′25″ Cameron gets one back for the Cogs as he takes the ball almost the whole length of the court and fires it through at great pace. Aidan scores again at 12′30″ to finish of the game 5-2.

Game 3: 5-1
The final game of the fixture sees the Cogs getting the first goal. At 1′15″, John shoots straight through Dave’s bottom bracket at an almost unstoppable speed. Aidan retaliates 30 seconds later with a shot going through ‘The Wall’ via two bottom brackets.

At 3′50″, Brendan takes one of his symbolic strikes and put BAD back in front at the expense of Cameron’s spokes. A ball-shaped hole is left in his wheel and a time-out is called.

It seems to take both teams a while to warm up again after a long time-out. It’s not until the 7th minute when Brendan gets another goal after some excellent passing and communication between the team. Aidan also follows up with another at 8 minutes, after Dave makes space by forcing a hole in The Wall.

Massive Cogs fight back and there are god chances at both ends of the court, but eventually Aidan cements the win for BAD at 10′20″ after slotting a ball in behind a Cog’s back wheel.

Very good games to watch and everyone seemed to enjoy them. All of the Massive Cogs goals (one each) were truly spectacular, but in the end, BAD Polo really show why they are the team to beat in this league!

BAD Polo:

The WALL:

Wednesday 9th December, Newington

Game 1: 2-1 (Golden Goal)

The game starts fast and hectic with both teams blocking well and preventing passes. BAD polo having the best of the chances in the first few minutes with some good steals and Dave coming very close to scoring on two occasions. The first goal comes from Aidan at 4 minutes just as his BAD Girls arrive to support!

Apples come close to scoring but fail to take advantage when both Aidan and Dave are footdown. Brendan also makes a fine clearance under pressure.

Rik is impenetrable at the other end with countless balls hitting his wheels and the cones, yet he stays so solid and so confident. At 10 minutes, BAD almost go 2 up when Dave shuffles a ball through.

The equalizer comes at 13 minutes, when Aidan footsdown in goal. This time, Em takes full opportunity of the gap and scores. A minute later, Apples could have had another chance when Brendan and Aidan crash into each other in the middle of the court, but Dave stays strong in defence.

Eventually it goes to Golden Goal and at 19′37″, the winner came from Brendan after a strike which hit the cone, went high and fortunately the top-spin enabled the ball to roll over the goal line.

Game 2: 1-0
On the charge Gabes gets to the ball first but it is stolen by Aidan. For the first 2 minutes, play is back and forth between each end, and Aidan hits a few wide of the goal. Gabes comes closest at 3 minutes, with a ball that hits the cone, Em misses the rebound chance.

At 5′15″, Aidan gets the first goal after circling around the Apples and slotting the ball between the cones, in what is fast becoming an Aidan trademark.

A close one for Apples when Rik has an incredible shot at Aidan in goal, which he wedged under his rear wheel in front of the goal line. Brendan goes round the back and smacks it clear.

Rik also fires a really hard ball at Dave at the other end, but Dave makes a phenomenal save. Defence at both ends is particularly strong tonight, hence the scorelines. The game eventually times out at 1-0 to BAD.

Game 3: 3-1
Despite two exhausting and intense games, the third starts with just as much determination. Brendan strikes at 2′35″ to give BAD the first goal again. Aidan follows up the scoring at 4′14″.

At 8′38″ Gabes gets one back with an accurate powerful strike straight through the goal.

Aidan has a great chance for another goal whilst Rik is footdown, he is on his own and has time, but regrettably no goal. Another opportunity for Aidan arises, but along comes Gabes with his fat tyres and disc brakes and skids over the ball. Apples are using their bikes to full effect to pull lots of fancy moves to block the opposition!

At 10 minutes Brendan finds himself with two Apples mallets under his front wheel and skids 20ft across the court. However, he gets up and carries on, scoring a minute later and calls a justified time out to fix his clips. The ref takes this opportunity to warn the Apples for their foul mallet play!

The determination continues right up to the last second, when the game ends 3-1 to BAD.

Oh, yeah, and Em was shite at 5′50″ in the first game