Polo Fiasco vs Zombie

Better late than never – a report from Chris:

Zombie United vs. Polo Fiasco

Having finally deciphered my scrawled notes from the evening, here’s the match report.

Played at London’s famous Mitchison Road court, this fixture had a certain air of desperation from the start. Following the changing of the clocks, it was almost certain that the lights would go out before the three games could be played.
Would the games be completed? Had the timer on the lights been changed? Only time would tell…

Game 1

Fiasco are the quicker out of the blocks, Josh and Tony both well warmed up by some pre-fixture throw-ins. Zombie on t’other hand look sluggish, and their lack of focus is swiftly punished as Tony fires a wicked shot through a very surprised Yorgo’s rear spokes. A mere 35 seconds gone, and Fiasco are in the lead, a situation compounded just over a minute later as Josh puts over a second.
Zombie settle down a bit, a Yorgo break drawing a loud (and effective) “Penis!” from Josh, but they’re not using the space well, and it takes some solid keeping from Hassan in keeping out three one-on-one attacks from Fiasco.
10 minutes gone, and finally Zombie get a foot in the door, Yorgo pulling one back, but Fiasco continue to pile on the pressure, Mike making a great save with his front wheel, then popping up a shot from Tony, who tries to head home the rebound, before re-gathering the ball and slotting home Fiasco’s third.
Zombie desperately go in search of goals, but Fiasco hold the line, Tony recovering from a foot-down to streak back into defence at warp factor 8 and blocking Mike’s certain goal right at the death.

Zombie United 1 – 3 Polo Fiasco

Game 2
A quick turnaround, and Zombie come flying out of the blocks. No prizes for guessing who wins the charge, or where the ball ends up… “Where are you Mike?” calls out everyone’s favourite pistachio muncher.
“Where I usually am!” comes the laconic reply!
Some fast play ensues, and the treacherous under-tyre conditions lead to some hairy moments, Hassan hitting the deck and going knee-sliding on more than one occasion. His commitment pays off though, as he nets the opener, beating Tony as Mike, Josh and Adrienne all tap-out following a goalmouth domino rally session.
Fiasco look to hit back quickly, and come close, but Snoops declares “No goal!” whilst stuff, and Adrienne lets slip the secret behind her “Best keeper in the league” tag – “My boobs got in the way!”
Into the middle of the allotted 15 minutes, and the match really catches fire, with goals from Josh (following a lovely BB pass from Tony), then Yorgo, then Josh. All this excitement is lost on the spectators however, who are more intrigued by Yorgo’s appearance in Rupert’s helmet (he’d left his own in the pub).
Em: “Don’t you think he looks like Chan in that helmet?”
Gabes: “No he looks more like a human cannonball…”
It’s a tight game, and Yorgo’s cries of “Sorry!” (12 in the first game) are being replaced by “Fuck!” and “Merde!” culminating in an anguished cry of “FUCK – ADRIENNE!” Fiasco’s keeper produces her umpteenth solid block of the tie, and tips the game past the 15 minute mark and into Golden Goal territory, where finally Yorgo gets his reward, scoring after nearly 19 minutes of hard-fought hardcourt action.

Zombie United 3 – 2 Polo Fiasco

Game 3

The timekeepers are nervous. If the lights do go out at 9 o’clock, then we’ve only got 12 minutes of play. The teams agree that they’ll take the result when darkness falls.
And it looks like a result might be on the cards! An even quicker start than the first game sees Tony ping the ball through Yorgo’s spokes again!
Zombie regroup, and discuss the situation…
Yorgo: “We don’t pass enough.”
Spectators: “We’ve been telling you that all evening!”
Zombie take the ball upfield, and another domino rally session results in Yorgo’s cry of “It’s you and Tony, Mike! Don’t fuck it up!” Mike fails to score… There’s a real edgy feeling to this game, everyone’s after a result before darkness falls, and the pendulum swings towards Zombie as Hassan and then Mike find a way through Fiasco’s defence. Yorgo almost puts the tie beyond reach when his outrageous t-bone attempt on Josh fails, and he nicks the ball! He’s through on goal, but a wild shot flies across the D and into the corner.
With Gabes looking at his watch, Fiasco push forward, and suddenly Josh fires home an equaliser! As he wheels away in celebration, there’s a click, and the lights go out.

Polo Fiasco celebrate their equaliser:

2-2, what to do? Decamp to Broadway, that’s what! Everyone quickly packs up, and a convoy of blinking LEDs twiddles its way East…

With four minutes left to play, Zombie re-start at London’s favourite rail-garnished polo den. As the teams adjust to their new surroundings, play is initially cautious, but a couple of minutes in, and Yorgo scores Zombie’s third. A couple of minutes later, Gabes calls time and it’s all over.

Zombie United 3 – 2 Polo Fiasco